Starting over again

Hi its Haley!!! I'm going to try this again!!!

Wow, I feel like i'm starting over!!! Well maybe not starting over but getting a chance to try again.

I recently was able to pay off all of my debt other than the house and my lease it up on my car so I need to get a new car but otherwise besides just the regular bills (gas, electricity, satellite, food, cell phones) i don't have any debt!! What an amazing feeling!!!

I still feel a little bit scared though... I don't want to rake up debt again... i'm pretty sure I won't have another chance like I had this time to pay everything off and still have money left over to put in savings for the future.

besides getting a new car soon, i have to get a new driveway, and get my bathroom finished and the backsplash in the kitchen done.  after that I think I've done pretty much as much work on the house as i'm going to do unless i end up staying here forever which is not the plan!!!!

I'm trying to figure out the best way for me to lose weight.  I have gained a lot in the last couple of years i think with the stress of the divorce and my thyroid going crazy but now I have to try to get it off and its not an easy thing to do.  I'm having  hard time figuring out what is the best way for me to do this.  I've tried the HCG diet in the past, more recently I've done Medifast a couple of times and I have just started Plexus.  I really hope this helps because I'm not having a lot of luck sticking with Medifast but when I'm not on it I tend to be a binge eater.    Ahhhhh.

I've said to people lately, its so hard to go your whole life being skinny and then all of a sudden your FAT.  Its embarrassing.  I don't want to see people especially if I haven't seen them for a while.  I don't want to leave my house.  I don't want my kids to be embarrassed by their mom which i don't think they are but I would hate for them to feel that way.

I hate going into to a restaurant or taking the kids for ice cream and feeling like people are looking at me wondering why I am there eating food or ice cream which I clearly don't need.  Obviously people don't know my struggle and what has been happening in my life but they always judge without knowing.

Anyway.....

Its time to decide what I am going to do with my future....

I love Nerium and know that it can make my life amazing but until i really get it going I need to be doing something else to bring in money.  Changes.....what to do..... Real Estate school? I've thought about taking a course to become a group fitness instructor... (why not kill 2 birds with one stone).  I'd really love to go to interior design or photography school.  What to do.....


But what it really comes down to  is i'd just like to live a happy life with my kids.  Move back home to Utah, maybe find a husband. Just be happy!

Back when I was in High School….

Seems to be the topic in our house lately…


I can't believe how different things are between when I was in High School and now that both Mitch and Ali are in High School.  Mitch is a Jr. this year and he really doesn't say too much about it but thankfully I now have Ali who is a freshman this year at Avon Lake High School.

So as I hear from Ali about different topics that shes talking about I find myself constantly saying "well, when I was in High School" because things are so different.  And of course being her 14 year old self she always says "mom, I know"

So the latest topic i've been hearing about is Homecoming!!!

So back in the day as a girl in my high school we waited for a boy to ask us to the dance.  If we didn't get asked we didn't go!!! If it was a boys choice dance then the boy made all the arrangements for before and after the dance.  How we were being picked up, who was going in the group with us, where we were eating before the dance and what we were doing after.

So, homecoming here is the first weekend in October.  For a month or more all i've heard about from Ali and her friends is what they are wearing, what group they are going in etc.  Now when they first started talking about it no one had been asked to the dance yet and what I found out was that all the girls were going in a group together.  They did not need dates to go.  Ok, so thats different to me but yes it would have been fun to go with a group of friends if we didn't get asked by a boy.

So a week or two ago as things have started progressing and boys have started asking girls to the dance someone who should remaim nameless was asked to the dance by a boy that she didn't want to go with and so she gave him a FLAT OUT…NO!!! That was it…just NO.    Now back in my day, you didn't ever say no.  If you got asked by the nerdiest guy in school and did not want to go you still said yes just to be polite.    So when I was talking about this to nameless girls she said "this is how we do it now, we don't live back in the day".

So forward to yesterday when Ali gets a text message from a friend (who has not been asked to the dance as of yet) saying "i want you to come in our Homecoming group, i'm getting asked tomorrow and I think you are too" So again I say "well, if the boys are asking aren't they the ones who choose who is in the group you are going with" again it was "Duh-Mom, no"  Ok so not to mention the dress…i've heard everyone is wearing black or white and if you wear anything else you will get made fun of.  Oh and the couples match what they are wearing so If the girls has a black dress but is wearing red accessories then the boy will wear red shoes or belt or what ever he can that will match.
Nope we never did that!! EVER!!!

Wow, how things have changed and it makes me feel really old and i'm also learning that my ways aren't alway the right ways and maybe sometimes I need to lighten up a little and just let them have fun.  Although I do wonder if all these changes are the day and age we are in now or if it is just that we are in the Midwest and not in the West.  WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Glad to be back~Haley

I'm back~ I think.

Is there anyone still out there that looks at this blog in an atempt to see a new posting?  Well, I'm trying to decide if I will continue on this blog or get a new start on a new blog.  Once I make a decision, I will let anyone who is interested know what is going to happen.  And if no one is out there, well then, I guess it doesn't matter what I do right!!!!

Let me know if you are out there and want to be invited to a new blog it this one changes.

Thanks,

Haley

Daughter of God

We had New Beginnings last Wednesday and I made these pictures for each of the girls.  I thought they were pretty cute as did most of the other mothers the girls weren't too excited about them though.  (Except Ali, she came right home and hung hers on her bedroom wall over her bed)

I thought they were so cute!!

Its fun to be in YW with Ali and to be able to teach her class.  Its a big difference from Primary but I am having a lot of fun.  

Fun Pictures

2 weeks down

Well tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since I started TSFl and Im down 11 lbs.  I was kinda hoping I would be down more than that but hey, i'm not complaining.

It hasn't been as hard as I thought however there have been a few times that I have really wanted to eat normal food.  Just one ritz cracker or one oreo but don't worry, i have not cheated!!!!! A few times I have thought to myself  "maybe i'd just rather be fat" but then I start to think about spring and summer coming up and if I keep it up I will be able to fit into the clothes I couldn't wear last spring and summer.  And its always hard when friends call and invite you to go out for ice cream and you want to go but you can't eat it or when your family orders pizza (your fave) and you have to eat chicken....again...... but i keep reminding myself that it will be worth it in a few months when I feel better about the way I look.  

I have been really bad about exercising too and assume that if I were doing more of it, it would probably help me lose weight faster.  Need energy and motivation to start!!!!

Anyway, we will see what the next 2 weeks brings.  Hopefully more than a loss of 11 lbs but another 11 would get me more than to the half-way point so I would be happy with that too.

See you soon!!!

Is this day 5 or 6?

With nothing but a house full of sickness there's been no time to blog, and actually since we have an Open House tomorrow I really shouldn't be sitting here now instead of cleaning.

Anyway, 9 lbs down this morning!!! Ya me!!! So far this has not been too bad other than stressing about how to keep paying for the food with money that I don't have.  

Most of the food I have tried has not been bad.  A few things I have figured out how to Dr them up to make them taste better and your tastebuds change a little bit but after almost a week,everything now is pretty good however, I haven't really ventured out and gotten crazy with too many recipes yet.  

For some reason, I have it in my mind that if I eat too many medifast actual meals (soup,cereal,pancakes etc.) i'm not going to loose as much weight as I would if I just ate 1 or two of those and had bars and shakes for the rest of the meals.  I wonder if i'm crazy!!!

Its a crazy thing how your body works.  Before I started TSFL I was so tired all the time I could hardly function.  I could not get out of bed in the morning and as soon as the kids went to school I would go back to bed as sleep for as long as Brady would let me.  Now, I am not as tired as I was at all.  Don't get me wrong I still love to have a Saturday or Sunday afternoon nap but I didn't feel like I was so tired I  couldn't function anymore.  Another thing, I never realized until this week how picky about eating I really am and also how much I'm eating out of habit rather than for being hungry.  I have found over these last 5 day that i'm really not having cravings for the foods that I can't have (except I did see a commercial for twizzlers and would have loved some but, I didn't obsess over it like normally I would when having a craving) but have noticed that when I go to give Brady a snack i want to eat one to not because I hungry or having cravings but because before TSFL I would give him one and I would eat one.  It became a habit.  

Anyway, im on my way 31 lbs left to lose!!!

Wish me luck!!!

Haley

Day 2

Wow, already down 4 lbs!!! Crazy!!!  However, I don't feel that great today.  My health coach says the first 3-4 days are the worst and you start feeling better after that.  Lets hope so, cause my stomach hurts and I have a serious headache, muscle fatigue and a bit shaky but it will be worth it when all this extra weight is gone!!!

another problem, i love love love water, its my drink of choice but today i feel like i can't possibly drink anymore water without throwing up. 

ugh!!!

When I see the number going down on the scale i remember why i'm doing this though and it makes it possible!!!

Thanks for stopping by!

Haley

Day 1

 Over the last 10 months I seemed to have gained about 40 lbs.  It could be from a medication i started taking, it could be from stress,  but it also could be from eating too many treats.  Either way, today I started a new eating plan.  Take shape for life with medifast food!!

My hope is to lose 40 lbs and be able to maintain that weight!!! Lets hope this works, Wish me luck!!!

it's a new year! 2013

Wow, time flies!!! My blogging has been pretty pathetic the past year but one of my New Years Resolution's is to get back at it so hopefully, I can start doing a little better.

Heres just a little update...

Mitch is 14 and  a freshman at Avon Lake High School this year, he played quarterback on the football team last fall and is just starting to get ready for baseball tryouts.  This whole high school thing is new to us and soooo different from when we were in high school! Mitch continues to love sports and as always loves baseball!! He will hopefully be playing for the high school as well as on his travel team this year. We are getting excited for baseball season!  School has been hard for him but he is really working on it and trying to do better.  Mitch started early morning Seminary this year and has to be there at 5:40am and now he has baseball and football every morning starting at 5:30 too so now we have too many things going on before school and no way to do them all.  Mitch of course would rather sleep then do any of them!!! He is pretty busy between sports, scouts, mutual, and school and doesn't have time for much else but he plays with Brady as much a possible and likes to spend time with his dad when he can.  Oh, and he keeps growing and is 6"4 so far!

Ali is in 7th grade and in middle school.  She is our social butterfly and spends way too much time with her friends!!! (well, I would just like her to spend more time with me)!  She does well in school and I think although she won't admit it she kinda likes it!!! She stopped doing gymnastics because she felt like it was taking too much time away from other things but she is still doing softball and loves it and is taking an acro class as well. She made a travel team for softball and will be trying out for the middle school team as well.  She is becoming a beautiful young women and is growing up WAY too fast.  Every once in a while she trys to put on a little make up but Brandon gets mad and makes her take it off!  She's really into clothes, hair, accessories, perfume and lots of other fun girly stuff!!!  She loves Young Women's and mutual activities but I'm not so sure she likes having her mom as her teacher!! She likes to tell me how to do my lessons!  Shes a good girl and loves Brady so much.  I can't imagine what I would do without her and her help with him.  

Brady is 16 months and a super fun and happy boy.  He is getting so BIG!! He loves to play!! Loves, dogs, barney, treats, bottles, binkies, shoes, balls.  He throws everything, so you better watch out!!!  His most recent words are basketball, thank you and is constantly saying "i got basketball".  it's so so cute!!! 

He climbs on anything and everything, he loves to dance, he can throw a ball and swing a bat like no other 1 year old (besides Mitch at that age) i guess its in the genes.   This is a baby that knows what he wants and will get it no matter what it takes.  He won't take no for an answer.  Hes growing up so fast and I can't believe we lived without him for so long.  He makes me laugh everyday and makes life so much more fun and exciting.  

Well, heres to a new year, some new posts and new things to come!!!!

Check back soon, hopefully I will be able to keep up!!!

Haley

I'm about to lose it

Ahhhhhh! That's how I feel right now!!! I haven't blogged for so long.  There is never time to sit down and do it but now I need to vent!

Thanks to Hurricaine Sandy, we had a swimming pool in our basement yesterday when we woke up!

Brandon was in Michigan and we had been out of power at that point for about 12 hours so he was calling in the morning to check on us and asked me to check the basement for water.  LIttle did I know I was about to go for a swim!  I walked down the stairs and when I got almost to the bottom I fell in 3 feet of water!!! Freeeeezing, water!

In the shock and anger of realizing that we had so much water, I yelled for the kids to get out of bed and panic mode set in.....what do we do, who should we call.....Ali watched Brady while Mitch and I started hauling anything we could out of the basement.  Drums, guitars, amps etc.

Someone must have been watching over us because not too long after we found the water my neighbor showed up asking if we needed anything and if we were ok I told her what was going on but there wasn't much she really could do but then another neighbor showed up at her house with his brother who has a water restoration and clean-up company and she brought him over to my house.  In the meantime, our friends Jim and Ben showed up.  Ben brought a generator and went down into the dark water filled basement and tried to get our sump pump running but had no luck.  He headed off to work and Jim tried again finally getting it started and the water started pumping out....or so we thought.  Even after having the clean-up crew there we were still taking on more and more water so Jim hurried down to save the TV!!!Whew!  It took some time but finally they got it right and the water started pumping out.  Brandon cancelled his meetings and headed home to the mess.

Because we had so much water, we lost our water heater and furnace so in the fun of the mess, we had no hot water or heat for 4 days as well. What a nightmare..Its really not fun having to shower in freezing cold water or having a dirty baby for days.  We ended up staying in a hotel for one night so we could get a hot shower and sleep in heat! AHHH it was nice!

Well that morning when we headed home from the hotel, after having had all the water cleaned out the day before, we had another inch of water and rising...Ugh!!! we weren't sure why because our pumps we working fine so I called in the plumber.  He couldn't find anything wrong except our outside pump was not plugged in! Duh!  The story goes on with no heat or hot water, big loud blowers in the basement that were so hot that the whole upstairs was steamy and humid.  Even our magazines were wilting! On and on and on until Friday when we finally got the new water heater and furnace. Yay for heat and hot water, and Saturday when we went through everything and got all of our "stuff" cleaned up or should I say thrown out for garbage pickup and then Sunday Mitch and Brandon cut out the sheet rock 4 feet high.

The guys came this morning and took out all of their equipment and now the next phase begins.  I have someone coming to measure for carpet today (don't forget we just redid the basement and now are replacing brand new carpet, that I loved i might add).  We will be hainging new sheet rock, painting, laying new carpet and putting up new base boards all over again!!!! Ahhh the joys of being a homeowner!

 Its not everyday that you see your couch floating!

And this is our garbage pile that was 3 times bigger before all the garbage pickers came and took the couches and a whole lot of other stuff!

At least we are all ok.  And we still have a house.  In all the things I was going through throwing away... lots and lots of pictures, yearbooks, brandons football newspaper clippings, programs, christmas decorations, easter decorations, halloween decorations, scentsy stuff, bags and bags of toys etc.  I had to keep telling myself  "it's just stuff" most of it can be replaced.  Obviously not the pictures and the football memoribila but at least we have memories!!!!  I'm sure there is a lesson in all of this that we needed to learn and when I figure out what  it is, i will let you know!!!!

Brady's Words

Well, I know I am way behind in the blog posts but I need to get this down before I forget.

Brady will be 1 on Monday and I can hardly believe it.  This year has gone by so fast!! I can't believe how much he has grown.  Its so fun to watch the new things he does every day.

I wanted to make a list of all of the words he can say up to this point.

His newest word that he just started saying this morning is PUPPY

but other words he says are....

dada

dad

hi

by

ali

gobble gobble

ho ho ho

papa

bop

ball

he has said once or twice~ heidi, grandma, momma
and he does the signs for~ more, all done (actually finished), and we're working on tub(actually bath)

i love this little guy so much!

Brady

This is going to be way out of order but I need to get it down before I start forgetting...

This little baby of ours is so much fun!! He is the happiest baby ever and is super active too.  He keeps us on our toes all the time!

I think the last time I posted on him he was just crawling and pulling himself up so heres the update on what has been happening over the last 4 months.

Brady just turned 10 months old and boy is he mr independant.  At about 9 months, I had him at a friends house and he found a push toy and decided it was time to try it out. On his own he got behind that toy and off he went.  After that day Brandon and I decided we needed to get him his own push toy so we did and he hasn't stopped since.  He pushed that toy and then discovered while we were at softball and baseball games that he could push his stroller too.  He spent about a month pushing and for the last week he has been a walking machine, I even caught him yesterday walking up the stairs!(he crawled all the way up the stairs on his first try so I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised but let me tell you, our stairs are STEEP and there are a lot of them)!

He finally has 2 teeth. It feels like it took forever for him to get the first one and the second was right behind but he didn't get the first one till about 9 1/2 months.  He says  "hi" and "dada" he waves HI and BYE and has just started play pat a cake.  He has been clapping for a while but just this week started clapping when someone says Yay or "go Mitch" (obviously at a baseball game) or when he makes it to the top of the stairs etc.

He LOVES his sister soooo much!!! I think even more than his momma.  He cries everytime she goes out the door without him or if she passes him without picking him up.  He gets so excited to see her.  He loves his brother too but Mitch is more of his playmate where Ali is more of his comfort.  Its so fun to see Mitch and Ali with him and to see how much he loves them too.  I really think this is actually the perfect time for us to have had a baby.  And although you would think the huge gap in years between Brady and Ali would be hard, I have loved every minute of it and couldn't imagine having it any other way.  It is so much fun to see all of them together and watch how they interact with each other.  And Brady has the best protectors anyone could ask for.  I don't know what we will do when Mitch and Ali go off to college and Brady as a 6 or 7 year old will be without them! (let's face is, I don't know what I will do without them or their help either)!

Back to the babe, he is still sleeping good at night but doesn't really want to nap lately.  I think he is afraid hes going to miss something.  He loves bubbles, barney, balls, yogurt, ritz crackers, and his most favorite treat is M&M's.  (thanks Brandon)!

What a fun time we are having with these kids.  Next up, videos of walking!

Easter

 We stayed home for Easter and Spring Break this year.  Didn't do much just hung out at home and with the few friends that were in town.  We got "egged" by some friends which was fun.  Ali was super excited to help Brady find the eggs that were all over our yard.  

                                       I love this picture of Brady....Look at those eyes!

                                         Dying Easter eggs!

                                 Brady loved his Easter basket so much he decided to sit in it!!!

                                   For weeks after Easter we left the plastic eggs out.  Brady absolutely loved to play with them.  I actually thought about leaving them out to keep him entertained but finally decided I was tired of cleaning them up!!! Until next year!!!

Pinterest Recipe # 1 & 2

I've made quite a few pinterest recipes but i'm starting with these ones because I made both of them for Fathers Day yesterday...

#1.  Crock Pot Ranch Potatoes

I'm not going to post the recipes for every thing I make but if you click on the Recipe Title it will take you to the pin and hopefully you all know how to get to the recipe from there.  

I thought these were pretty good! Ali didn't like them, Mitch and Brady loved them and Brandon didn't answer when I asked so who really knows what he though.  I think if I make them again, I will either leave out the ranch dressing, use a packet of the dry ranch dressing or find something to replace the ranch dressing with instead.  

Give them a try and let me know what you think!

***

#2.  Texas Roadhouse Rolls

Normally when I make rolls, I use my moms old recipe and they are a hit! I decided to try something different this time.  These were yummy, yummy rolls!!! Not too hard to make and just like my moms rolls, they were a hit with everyone!!! 

Let me know if you try them!

*****

Is anyone out there???

Just a quick note!!! So, I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest....too much time on Pinterest.  I have started making a lot of the recipes that I have found on Pinterest so if anyone out there is interested I was thinking as part of this blog I would start talking about the recipes I have tried and how my family liked them but.......if anyone else out there is interested......maybe we could start a community blog so we can all post the recipes we have tried and if we liked them or not.

Let me know what you think.  If you are interested or if I should just post on my own blog the ones I make.  I  actually did start a board of all the ones I've tried but there is really not enough room to talk about much about them and some of them I wanted to be able to comment an more than I could. 

Anyway.................

First and last campfire of the season.

The weather has been so crazy around here.  We had a bunch of 80 degree days in March and now it's cold! On one of those nice weekends Brandon and the boys had a fire in the back yard.  Brady loves to be outside and liked watching the fire.  Brandon and Mitch sat around playing and talking about music and just hanging out with eachother.

After a bit I had taken Brady in the house to have a bath and Heidi came running in and said "the fire broke" our little terra cotta fire pit busted in half! Not sure how, but so far we haven't gotten a new one so the first fire of the season, may have been the last.

Brady 6 months

At 6 months my little Boo Boo was sitting up by himself, and started crawling at 6 1/2 months.  He actually pulled himself up before he could crawl but it was only a matter of days.  This is one determined little guy.  He knows what he wants and now that he is on the move, he gets what he wants.  He get everything I don't want him to get too! At 6 months we started giving him little snacks like Mum Mums and puffs.  He like his snacks! What a happy happy boy!

He also did a little photo shoot for a friend of mine that is starting a business selling what is called a Pello. She needed a baby for her website and some other marketing pieces so this little one was her model.  He love it too!!!  I will hopefully be getting some of those pics and will post them when I do!

Liking the curl

I guess maybe its a little vain to post a picture of myself but when I was in UT my sister told me how she makes her hair so cute and curly so when I got home I tried it and have been loving it ever since.  I'm having so much fun with the curls except that I have soooo much hair that it takes forever to do!

Brady 5 months

We could not have asked for a happier, better baby! Brady has brought so much joy to our family.  At 5 months we started him on solid food.  Apparently I could have started him earlier but hey, it's been a long time since I had Mitch and Ali.  I didn't remember.  I was just waiting for the dr to tell me when to start feeding him.  He love his food, his favorites are Sweet Potatoes, Mac N Cheese and Carrots.  At 5 months he was sitting up with help.  Laughing and talking (baby talk of course) a lot.  I think he was actually holding his bottle earlier but by this time he was holding it almost all the time without help even though mom didn't want to give up holding him to feed him.  What a fun baby, I am soooo in love!

SLC Feb, 2012

I cannot believe how far behind I am.  Back in February I took the kids to Utah.  Most of our family had never met Brady and Brandon was out of town so I decided it was time for a little vacay.  Wow, there was a lot to do in a short amount of time but we loved it.  Well most of us loved it.  It was a really hard trip on Brady and he ended up being sick for literally about 2 months after we got home.  Poor baby couldn't handle the time change and i think he was a bit overwhelmed by all the love he was getting.  So many people that wanted to love on him, hold him, play with him.  Its great to have so much love....hopefully he will be able to handle it better next time.

When we got there on Tuesday, we had a big party......Scentsy, Stella & Dot, Vault Denim, Tastefully Simple, Baby Bee, some jewlery, some bags........i think that's it.  Each of my sisters and myself invited as many people as we could and then Holli and Katie took fliers around their neighborhood.  I didn't get as many Scentsy orders as I would have liked but overall, we had a great turnout!  

Wednesday, Katie and Ryan blessed their little Quincy.  What an awesome experience it was.  I'm so glad we were able to be in town for it.  They adopted him from South Africa.  It was a 2 year + process and by the time the finallly got the ok to go pick him up he was 15 months old.  What a lucky boy, if I do say so myself, he was brought into a great family with awesome parents, sisters and an extended family that loves him to pieces.

The rest of the time was spent playing with cousins, hanging with sisters, eating lots of food, going to lunch with friends, getting family pictures taken for my dad and Jan, lunch with Brandon's mom and sister and hanging out with Annie a little bit which was nice.  

                                                   Hillary's boys Davis and Hudson

                                                Katie's Olivia, Brady, Davis, Hudson

                                                  Heidi's Grace and Brady

                                                       Kristen's Jaedyn (probably spelled wrong)

                                                              Grandma with a few of the grandkids

                                                       Annie's Mia and Brady

                                                    Auntie Annie and Brady

                                                            Brent, Lupe, Ana Karen and Brady

                                                Holli's McKinnley, Mitch & Heather's Hunter

                                                  Katie's cute family at Quincy's blessing

                                                 Quincy and Ali

                                                  Grandma Wendy and Brady

                                                               Quincy and Katie

                                                               Mitch, Brady and Heidi

It was a super busy trip and I have to say I was ready to get Brady home by the end of the week but its always fun to see family and spend time "at home" with my sisters, parents, neices and nephews.

Brady 6 1/2 months! Sorry it's sideways!

Well, this will be a little out of place since I am not caught up on posts but I thought this was fun!

Look what this guys is doing at 6 1/2 months!

She's not a girl, not yet a woman ! Ha ha!

My girl is at that age where she is not a teenager yet but shes not a little girl anymore. She does not want me taking her picture anymore so this it about all I can get these days!!! Shes a good girl though!

Brady 3 months!

We love this little cutie sooo much!!! He is such a fun baby. At 3 months Brady was just learning to roll over. He rolled a few times from his tummy to his back!!! He hates being on his tummy so he had to figure how to get off of it! Happy baby boy!