Monday, February 9, 2009

Deep Thoughts

Sometimes I feel like i'm just a stay at home mom with nothing going for me.  I'm not very funny.  I'm not very creative.  I'm just simple old me!!!  (which I love B for telling me that I don't need to be anything but simple)!

I love being a mom and would still love to have more kiddos but what else!! Lately, with our kids gettting older and spending more time with friends, B and I have had a lot of time alone, even over night.  I love to have the time alone with him.  Its been really nice to be able to say "hey the kids are gone for the night lets go do something".  Because really, how often do the mom and dad get to do anything spontaneous (yup, that too) without the kids being around...  and not have to worry about: what they are doing, when the babysitter needs to be home, who they're with, what time they need to be picked up, is the door locked, etc.  

Having all this alone time makes me wonder what I want to be doing when the kids are grown up and gone.  I want to be important.  I want to be fun.  I want to be interesting.  I want to be.....
Most of all I just want to love life, love my family, and learn to love myself!!!


8 comments:

MY HEART CAN'T GO ON said...

You should go to school for something. Hair, aesthetics, photography. Something that would make you happy for a long time.

Anna said...

I can understand your feelings but you are funny and you are creative. You are also one of the most caring individuals I know. You've already started playing around with photography and it seems like you really like it. You'll figure it all out. You're just having a mid-mommy crisis. Love you!

Haley said...

I plan to keep working on the photography!!!!

i like that- midlife mommy crisis!!!!

Anonymous said...

I understand. I think that even though I work and have a career, I still feel like I never thought about what to do next. I thought my whole life would revolve around getting married and having children but there is a sense of "now what?" Not because I'm unhappy, but simply because I never thought that far ahead. I'm also really ordinary too. I don't have a ton of talents and skills overflowing my life; There are times when I feel a sense of discontent and in those moments of 100% contentment, I feel grateful for the journey and realize there is no destination. The joy I find is in the relationships I cultivate: my kids, my husband, my mom, my family and my friends.

♥Shally said...

I think we all have times where we think: "What am I contributing to this world????"

I agree with Annie- go to school! It is so fun and stimulating to learn new things and feel like you are expanding your talents.

Crazy Mama said...

We never think we're as creative, funny, and rockin as other people think we are. Women always call in to the Dr. Laura show (I love her!) with the exact same problem! She tells them the same thing every time: make a list of all the things you wanted to do while you were chasing babies around and didn't have the time to do them...and then go do them! If I can ever stop reproducing I'm going to culinary school and then I'm going to get a black belt in Karate. You're lucky you're dealing with this so young. I'm gonna be trying to kick my old legs up in the DoJo when I'm about 50!! PS. "miss Creative", how do I get the music on my blog?

JoAnna said...

I love that last comment!! Ditto. Thanks for your honesty and candidness. I can really relate.

Haley said...

thanks guys!!!! it's good to have great friends!!!!

hey...btw--christie my kids get so mad at me because i listen to dr laura!!! they hate having to listen to her!!! and, i want to go to baking and pastry school!!!!