Friday, July 17, 2009

Help me please!!!

*disclaimer* i'm rambling on and on & saying things that i'm not sure I should say

Do you ever feel out of control, because I do!!! I feel totally out of control with my eating habits!!! It seems like ever since we moved to Ohio I can't stop eating!!! I want to eat all the time!! What is wrong with me? I never used to have this problem. I used to be able to control myself but for some reason, now I can't! Is it because i'm getting older? Is it because i'm home all day with kids?
I am heading to SLC next week and seriously don't want to go because I feel like people will look at me and think "what happened to Haley, she used to be skinny", now she does nothing but eat and you can definitely tell!
I have plans to go to lunch with friends (Jo & Anna or anyone else that might be reading this if you happen to be in UT, please come {email me}), and there are a few specific friends that I actually am not excited to see because I feel FAT and like people will be "talking".

How do it get out of this eating rut!!! I know I need to watch what I am eating and cut down on the sugar and obviously workout more but I am having such a hard time doing it. I have to say I actually love going to the gym but, I haven't made it everyday this summer like I had hoped. I know that will change once school starts back up and I get back into the routine of going straight there after dropping Ali off, but until then.......
Here's the thing, I tried on 2 pairs of capris the other day that didn't fit and they both fit last summer! I feel like I have to hide my stomach all the time. I don't ever want to get into a swim suit again which is not fun when we will be spending the next 2 weeks at my sisters pool. (with all my skinny sisters in their suits).
I am at the breaking point but don't have the motivation to get started & I don't want to give up my favorite treats! At least B still tells me that I look good!!

Am I crazy, am I having a mid-life crisis at 33, am I the only one with this problem!! What do I do!!! How do I stop it!! HELP!!!! Thanks for listening!!!


Nick and Natalie said...

First off Haley! YOu are beautiful!!! You have a fabulous figure! Everyone out there no matter what they look like has had these feelings... I think the more that you dwell and think about it the harder it is to succeed at the healthy... I totally understand the I'm probably pregnant lbs... I am so there and have been for like 3 months now. It just is creeping further away. I am getting back on track and if it happens then ill be starting off skinny. You should feel great about yourself and NO comparing!!! Its a curse! Be you and love you....WE ALL DO!!!!!!

hang in there!!!

JoAnna said...

Oh, I so so so get it. I just want to hide when I'm in UT. I KNOW people are talking. And I KNOW I do look bad. But I also try try try try. I feel the exact same way. I just can't seem to ever dig deep enough to get that self-control that I used to have. But boy do I try. And I will never give up. I wish I had some words of advice, but all I can offer for now is commiserating! You are not alone. And in your blog pics, you look better than ever to me!! Gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the club...that reunion lunch? Yeah, sorry, too fat to go in public...story of my life. Oh, and grumpy too...would love to see you on the sidelines of the pool though! :-)

Amanda said...

Oh Haley. You are one that I have always looked up to. You are so beautiful and I totally understand the weight thing. In the last 5 years since I had Sadie, I have really struggled with weight and I know how hard it is to get it off. I think we all go through times where we just can't stop eating but don't feel bad about yourself. You are absolutely beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself!!! I am very excited to see you at lunch!!

Anna said...

I can say that I totally understand because I love eating and I do get out of control sometimes. You are not the only one who feels out of control. I think it is harder when you are home all day with kids. I don't think anyone will be looking at you and think "what happened". You look great. And like you said, Brandon thinks you look great.

For me - I realized that I will always struggle. I've never been rail thin and I'll never be rail thin. I am at a healthy weight right now but it took a lot of work. And maintenance is not easy. I'm five pounds heavier this summer than last and it's been terrible because I was at my best last summer. So, what to do...keep trying, I guess? Oh, and stop worrying about what you think others are thinking. You're beautiful!

P.S. I won't be in Utah but thanks for thinking of me. Say hi to everyone and make sure to tell them how terribly thin and beautiful I am :)

Anna said...

Okay yeah, I just looked at your header picture and look spectacular. Stop worrying!